Writing Project 1 First Draft
With
the first step into the courtyard you can tell that females have inhabited this
space. Everywhere you look there is a splash of pink, or glitter. To the right
are two eight-foot tall letters, Delta and Zeta. This is the most striking way
to make a statement that this is no ordinary courtyard, but a sorority house.
Everything is put together in a quaint and orderly way. Every detail is girly
and delicate. Past the Greek letters lay the stairs covered with glitter, proof
that crafting that had occurred earlier in the week. Next to the stairs, a
large stone bench sculpted into a turtle. There is a clear view into the
chapter room through the large glass windows. Inside the chapter room is a
large, inviting, leather couch. The couch sits just behind a coffee table, with
pink coasters. On the wall across from the couch lies a large flat screen TV,
and just above the TV is an enormous pink banner. Upon the banner lie two words
written in green cursive scripture, “Delta Zeta”. Looking past the sofa sits
fabric and centerpieces, a work in progress for an event to come. To the left
of the chapter room sits a gazebo with four tall white pillars wrapped in
vines. A clean table set lies beneath the gazebo.
As
the sun rises, not a sound can be heard. Everything is empty, peaceful, and
quiet. Come eight o’clock the sisters’ wake up to begin their day. Doors open,
the smell of freshly brewed coffee trinkles out from the kitchen, from some of
the rooms the faint sounds of music can be heard. Sorority girls begin to make
their exit from the courtyard to attend class, slowly trinkeling out to start
their day. The courtyard feels empty again, but not for long. Around twelve
o’clock people begin shuffling in for lunch. There is a group of girls dining
together under the gazebo, chowing down on chicken ceaser salads and turkey
wraps. As the girls finish and make their exit, more shuffle into the courtyard
and enter the chapter room. This group approaches the fabric and centerpieces
and begins to make their creation. You can tell this group of women are experts
at crafting. Come three o’clock another group enters the courtyard. A group of
about ten sit down on the large couch and begin their executive meeting. They
are diplomatic and serious, yet
friendly. You can tell they know each other well. As they wrap up their meeting
they take chair from storage and begin to set them up in rows. As they finish,
women dressed in business attire make their way in. There are about fifty of
them who enter into the chapter room and find themselves a seat. The women are
mingling and laughing with one other. Multiple of them throughout the crowd are
intently texting or scrolling through their social networking newsfeed on
various smart phones. One executive calls the meeting to order and the women
are silent and attentive. The women go
through roll call, upcoming events, philanthropy, and deadlines. The meeting
closes up and as the first group of women make their exit, a second makes their
entrance. They too are well dressed in business attire. The second group is
vastly similar, but a bit more timid. It is no surprise that this second group
is the pledges. They do not seem to know each other as well, but mingle upon
their similar interests. The meeting begins and precedes the same as the
previous. When the meeting comes to a close most girls leave, some stay behind
and mingle, while others stay and study. Everyone left in the complex are
friendly. The groups begin to trinkle out and the courtyard is quiet again
until sunrise.
For
the women in Delta Zeta, this is not just a place, but it has meaning. It is
home to the sisters of this chapter at Arizona State. This is a place where
these females meet, share stories, and create memories. It is a landmark and
has social meaning to these women. Due to the fact that this place is so
exclusive, there are not very many pluralities. All of the sister’s have
similar memories and experiences in the Delta Zeta house. There is, though, a
plurality between the active members and the new pledges. The pledges are in
the middle of “place making”, as Frank Vanclay puts it in “Place Matters”. That
is, making a “space” into a “place” by infusing it with memories and meaning.
The actives do their best to help create a “place” out of this “space” for new
members by hosting many events there. Although the girls in the chapter of
Delta Zeta come from different backgrounds and places across the United States,
this is one place where they all have something in common. This place is both dynamic and static. It is
dynamic as changes throughout the day. It is also dynamic each year with new
sistesr making memories in the chapter. It is static though because for the
most part there is a reoccurring routine each day of people entering and
exiting, and mingling and meeting. The
Delta Zeta sorority house is a place that is safe and secure. With the lock on
Adelphi and the individual house, there are no worries of intruders. This could
be a reason for all of the sisters’ positive place attachment. Everyone in the
chapter has place familiarity and place commitment. The women of Delta Zeta are
willing to go that extra mile in order to make the space as inviting as
possible, giving all of the sisters’ better place satisfaction. Another reason
that the Delta Zeta women see this place so positively is that they feel like
they belong there. They have community connectedness.
The most striking and detail of this place is without a doubt the community.
The
background a people of the place play a large role in its functioning. Everyone
who enters the place is within the same age as one another. Due to this fact,
it is easy for everyone to relate and feel at home. Everyone is a college
student, so lifestyles are similar. The fact that it is oriented for females is
another factor that brings the community closer, being that everyone can relate
to challenges a young woman might face. Although the women in this chapter come
from different parts of the country, they all have similar etiquette, behavior,
and communications. Everyone greets each other similarly, has common courtesy,
and is polite. Every member wears a similar style, and the women have similar
tastes. As a community of women, everyone bands together to help one another to
achieve similar goals. Each girl works to understand the history of this
chapter and pass it on. Traditions are highly valued. The role of each woman in
this community is similar. While in the Delta Zeta house it is important to
follow the highest standards, act like a lady and constantly strive to better
oneself.
Wow, the detail is outstanding, most readers of this essay will tell you that they can image the scene you put in your second paragraph. You where very descriptive and at the end of the essay I was convinced I knew what the Delta Zeta sorority house was like. After reading your intro, I would say that if you where to potentially try to show what the essay was going to be about it would significantly help your grade. I would consider rewriting your conclusion to maybe show more of the overall aspect of the essay instead of just continuing on about the house. For prior essays to come I would suggest incorporating the reader more into the essay just to allow them to fully connect with the piece. I like the fact that you brought attention to the lens, and in the long run, I would consider it a good job as far as lense use. The only thing I would seriously critic in on, is to tell more story and less detail, although it was incredibly detailed painting of a euphoric image of the sorority house, I would highly suggest the use of less detail more story. Overall, I realy liked the essay it painted a clear picture, and it showed that you really know this location like the backside of your hand. When you write you next essay try to act like you are describing to a human opposed to just writing descriptive adjectives to paint a picture.
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