2nd blog response

     In my opinion, the first paragraph of your draft is very specific, coherent and clear. I know what space you are going to analyze and what I should expect in the paper. I like your reference to a “large magnifying glass” to help understand your thoughts on analyzing this space. Moving into the second paragraph, I like how you not only analyzed the space, but the different ways that people get there by talking about the elevator and describing the walk down the stairs. The use of the lens in “Polk Street” was well thought out by comparing how busy it is and pointing out the replayed routines. The imagery is well constructed also, and I can really get a sense of the space you are describing. It is very well written in my opinion. My advice would be to break the second paragraph into smaller paragraphs. Consider one paragraph describing the walk down, another describing the habits of the people, and the last one focusing in on the imagery. For me, it would make it easier as a reader to follow different aspects you are analyzing in the Memorial Union third floor if you did this. In the third paragraph you talk about people then food and then back to people. Your thoughts might flow better together if you do not jump around as much. Your conclusion wrapped the paper up well.